Decoding Adam!

I've had my fair share of encounters with the male species, directly or indirectly. I've never encountered a more confused gene composition than them. For the lack of a better comparison, I think a dog would be better to have around. I won't doubt that most men feel the same way about women. From random conversations, I know they think that women are complex. I'll agree! But at least in the matters of the heart (read love) when we love a man we have the courage to stand up to that and hold on to it versus letting it go. When we truly feel for a guy and kiss him, we mean it. Not wake up the next morning to apologize. Apology means regret and we don't regret kissing you. We don't think you deserve better because we know we're the best for you. We don't go around boy hopping till we find the one that stands between splitting our life into before and after. Yes, we obsess  over loosing you. We're an insecure species. Its a gene defect!! Yes we think about you all the time. Yes we get jealous. Yes we become selfish in wanting to spend more time with you, only because we want to convert each moment spent into a memorable memory to recall when you're not around.

Alive

You smile, you're alive
You fear, you're alive
You cry, you're alive
You worry, you're alive
You dance, you're alive
You laugh, you're alive
You feel, you're alive
You breathe, you're alive
You love, you're alive
You live, you're alive

wishes

Wish I had hugged you longer
Wish I had held you tighter
Wish I had said the many things
That were running through my head
Wish I had turned around
Wish I stood the chance

Dear Heart!

Dear Heart,

Do not fall in love ever!!! You'll hurt yourself and break into a million pieces. And a million pieces are not easy to fix. The scars left behind will be there forever. They will nudge everytime a memory resurfaces, everytime you hear a familiar song or pass by a familiar restaurant and everytime that happens grief will come over you like never before. Even smiling at another heart's joy will hurt you. You and i will both turn into bitter, spiteful people.

I promise you that i will never let you get hurt and you have to promise me the same.

xoxoxoxo

everything is different...nothing will ever be the same again...i cannot seem to get the image of you and her out of my head...it keeps rewinding itself in my brain playing over and over and over again...the hole in my lungs is still there and so is the immense pain...but my body has become numb to that...the only signs of my hurting is the occasional tear...

always be there

the sound of the piano fills my ears through the speakers. i cannot describe the way it makes me feel. chaos and peace within me at the same time. when i close my eyes to the sound, the last one year rewinds itself. i find myself standing at the point at which it all began; staring at something that is beyond me. and although i cannot see anything i know i’m looking at you through the blinding light. someday you’ll walk forward and take my outstretched palm into yours and pull me close. someday you’ll see the love and it will fill you like it has filled me. you too will hear the symphony of the piano. life will rewind itself and you’ll find yourself standing at the point at which it all began; staring at something beyond yourself. i’ll wait for that day to take your hand in mine. life is a circle. you will have to reach the starting point of the circumference. don’t be afraid to come back. i’ll still be there, i promise.

not all relationships can be defined…the larger stake falls into general categories like family, friends, acquaintances, etcetera…but there are some that cannot be categorized…you cannot exactly call it friendship and nor are they acquaintances…nor do they come under the prospective love interest segment…they’re beyond the common emotions of man…they’re superior than the normal…they begin with no expectations and remain the same until you chose otherwise…a relief from the usual…you don’t have to offer explanations for your actions or be apologetic for being yourself…you know you’re not being judged so you be yourself…you’re accepted and respected…they derive your definition by the person your are and not by your actions…and even though you share some of the best moments or conversations of your life with them, you fall short of words to define what you share with them…but you don’t care about what the world would think because only you know the sanctity of your equation with that person…


it doesn’t always have to be about intelligent conversations…you can discuss the most inane things in life…and yet you don’t always have to speak to converse…silences say more than words can ever…and that’s the best part, you can sit next to each other and stay silent for hours on end…and you can hold their hand while you walk and know that it won’t lead to complexities…everything that transpires is devoid of malice…