Almost done

its sharpness glistens

in the moonlight
in contemplation, i wait
should i?, shouldn’t i?
the glow of the candle
flickers, almost at it’s end

my mind, ravaged
with thoughts
my eyes, blinded
with visions
my heart, overcome
with emotion
chaotic chills run down
my spine


in one swift motion
a cut runs through my wrist
blood spurts over my clothes
forming stains
that will be sampled later
my whole life flashes before my eyes
the smell of white lilies
mixed with the scent of wet mud
fills my nose


the hour has come closer now
in the dead of the night
i can hear each drop of blood
fall and merge with the puddle
formed at my feet


the pain receding
smiling faces of my loved ones
playing before my eyes as they close in


and then i wake up
the sharpness on my bedside table
still glistening
in the moonlight
i pick it up, walk back
to the kitchen
place it back where it belongs

The truth remains untold

to be or not to be
to say or not to say
to do or not to do
the doubts persist

flowers drawn, while
thinking of you
words erased, actions denied
quick to judge, point a finger
not knowing the truth
the doubts still linger

no hand to hold
no reassuring hug
in a snap, all is lost
wandering farther away
yet no justifications asked
and no clarifications given
the truth remains untold

Life's like that

of love and hurt
of trust and betrayal
the pain of a loss
the joy of a gain
denying a presence
accepting the unreal
of faith in faith
of belief in beliefs
of lies and deceit
of strange kindness
of happy surprises
of devastating news
life’s like that

In memory of you

i’ve returned to the house
a place i know so well
yet i feel like a stranger
nothing changed, nothing moved
except maybe the layers of dust
that have thickened since last time


your room untouched
a dog eared book with a mark
at the page you last read
the sheets still the same
preserving the smell of you
one solitary rose in the vase
dried and withered


i want to leave things
the way i’d left them before
so i sit on the edge of your bed
where we sat once not long ago
reminiscing moments that once filled
this room with life


now lifeless, the light filters in
through a crack in the glass
highlighting the solitary rose
i gave to you the night before
you left
so long ago and yet so close
that is the only thing
i’ll take back with me this time
the rose and a memory of you


the rose, in memory of you

What good?

So you’ve burnt the last physical evidence of her
But what good has it done
You can’t burn her from your memory

So you drink to shut her voice from you ears
But what good has it done
It still resonates beyond the din

So you’ve erased the mails and messages
But what good has it done
The words are etched on your heart

So you’re trying to hate her by remembering the times she hurt you
But what good has is it
You remember the hurt you caused her too

So you’ve given up trying and decide to go with the flow
But what good has is it
The flow of your life leads towards her

So you’re flowing towards her again
But what good is it now
She has drifted way beyond you reach

Reflection

How do you erase the bad memories and move on?
How do you forgive the hurtful words and actions?
How do you start afresh when all of the hurt is at the back of your mind?
Is it possible to surpass each word and action and live normally?
And if it is then how is it done?
How can you be with him when all you can remember is the pain he caused you?
How can you still love him so much even though you haven’t forgiven him?
And even if you are trying to forgive him, how are you going to forget?
Each time you say you love him, do you mean it or is it just a lie?
Are you still with him because you’re scared of being without him?
Have you noticed the changes in him or is it just me?
How come he never whispers sweet nothings into you ear anymore?
How come he doesn’t say he loves you back anymore?
How come he doesn’t say he misses you back anymore?
What are you both into?
Is it for real or is this all just a lie?
Is it my over imagination or are you really not happy?
And do these questions matter to you?
What’s the point anyway, because the minute you move away from the mirror these questions will fade away along with me.