My girl

there you are, jumping around
in the puddles that have formed at your feet
staining the hem of your pink linen dress
trying to catch each drop
falling from the unknown
dampening your hair
but not your spirit
ruining your curls
but you couldn’t care any less
i watch
as the shower grows heavier
i know i must protect you
but all i do is watch
your free spirit
your giggle against the thunder
no fear or uncertainty
you smile at the lightening
as if to mock it
nothing can tie you down
you spin around in circles
stopping abruptly to catch my gaze
and in that one fleeting moment
you reflect all that i was
all that i wanted to be
and then you smile and stretch your hand to me
drawing me into the open
loosening my spirit again
your fingers so small
in my hand
together we drench ourselves
while we giggle
you’ve transformed me into a child again
like you had once transformed me into a mother
and while i’m looking up to the heavens
thanking Him for you
i feel your tiny arms around my legs
i look down
and there you are
my girl…

Perception altering events...

I was standing in my balcony with my eyes squeezed shut lost in my own thoughts…there was an unusual quiet around me…no bustle of traffic…no sound of humans…just the birds chirping away…the peacocks crying…the leaves brushing against each other in the wind…and then I heard it…gently, creating a rhythm to the already audible sounds…first on the leaves…then on the petals…on the hard concrete floor…then I felt it on my outstretched fingers…on my parched lips…trickling down my spectacles…rolling onto my cheeks…combining with the saltiness of my own drops…I opened my eyes to the dark clouds…it had begun to rain…

Meaningful excerpts from random conversations!!!!

It is possible to be emotionally detached while being sexually/physically attached.

It is normal to have high expectations from your partner in a relationship.

It is completely normal to fall for your best friend.

Even your best friend has priorities other than you.

When someone says he wouldn’t know what to do without you, it means he’ll find a way.

Love can be blinding, so it’s always good to have a third person point of view.

I can be the one and only important person in someone’s life.

Everybody has someone out there. They may just be with the wrong people or may have lost the way.

Patience is truly a virtue.

The fruits of patience are sweet. Whoever said that fruits rot if kept for too long should know about wine manufacture.

And trust me everything does happen for the best.

You never really get what you want. You always get what you need even if you don’t realize it then.

Everything comes at the right time, even if you don’t think so.

Drops

One drop
Two drops
Ripples in the water
Three drops
Four drops
Rolling down my cheeks
Five drops
Six drops
Forming on my nape
Seven drops
Eight drops
Gurgling down my throat
Nine drops
Ten drops
Bouncing off my face

Random Philosophies - I

Sometimes people walk into your life with such an impact that all you can do is sit back and savour their presence…you grow fond of them, you begin to depend on them…slowly and gradually they make a niche for themselves…and you allow them that space…secure in your heart that they’ll be there forever…but somehow we forget that nothing lasts forever…these people then leave creating a void within you…maybe the niche that they’ve created is that void…and then we go about feeling bitter and angry…sometimes it’s not the whole person who walks away…sometimes it’s just a part of that person…a part that you are in love with…and then we keep searching for that person or that part wishing that whatever walked away would come back…but they don’t…besides the fact that nothing lasts forever we also forget that these people who walk into our lives come in for a short period…they come in when we need them the most, the come in to make us strong, they come in to make us realize our worth or maybe just exactly the opposite of all of the above…but in some way or the other they teach us something…they leave us with memories and experiences, good or bad…they either give us everything that they have and take away with them most of what we have…what I think we should dwell on is not for them to come back…but to look at the moments they’ve created for us and smile or cry, whichever applies best…the thing to remember is that if they’ve left a void in us then we’ve left a void in them too, right????

No more love

no more sad songs
to pass these mundane days
no more reminiscing
just to bring that smile back
erased the moments
of the days gone by
one by one
reliving each
before they’ve gone forever
no more kisses
that made my stomach flutter
savouring the sweetness
of your lips
before the taste is washed forever
no more flashes of endearments
that now bring with it tears
all of it wrapped up
conveniently hidden in a place
that cannot be found
not even in my solitude
will they resurface
the image of you
once created in the blindness of love
has emerged in true bright colours
that with the snap of my fingers
has crashed down to my feet
piercing through my skin
making me bleed
feeble and weak
i walk again
determined in my head that
no more love…

My most embarrassing moment...till the next one happens...

As teenagers, when we’re at our farewell, we fill in these little stupid slam books, wanting to cage the memories our years spent in school…there are various questions that you have to fill out…I loved filling slam books…but there was one question that always puzzled me…your most embarrassing moment…I could just never decide what to write there…not that there is a dearth of embarrassing moments in my life…oh there are plenty but none of them as embarrassing so as to win first prize…so I would always leave that space blank…until recently…very recently, I, created my most embarrassing moment…here’s what happened…
Date: 14th February 2009
Location: All Sports Bar, CP, New Delhi
Occasion: Valentine’s Day!!!

Now I have been single for a fairly long time and it doesn’t really bother me…but come Valentine’s Day and I transform into this manic single soul brooding about the lack of a guy in my mundane existence…so it’s Valentine’s Day and a couple of friends – Devika, Radhika, Ayushee, Arjun, Divyansh and me decide to go out for drinks…I suggest a place called All Sports Bar…simply because it’s a sports bar and I assumed it would be free of this contagious diseases called love…so we enter in…and guess what the place is filled with couples who fight all year round but somehow on this day manage to fill the air with looovvvee…to add to my misery there were heart shaped balloons floating around…for a moment, I was tempted to run away…but I spotted Arjun and Divyansh waving out to us…so plan A (running away) was foiled…time for plan B – drink and disillusion oneself…drink means drink not drunk…drink in this context means achieving a desired level of disillusionment in order to block out sounds and sights that cause irritation and depression…so beer was ordered and conversation flowed…in the midst of excited chattering Arjun announced that he wanted Long Island Tea…”A pitcher of LIT please”…from the looks of it I assumed that maybe Arjun also wanted to reach ‘that’ level of disillusionment, like me, which the beer refused to give…I smiled to myself because I had some company now…I’m not the only maniac in this world…the first mug, yes we were offered mugs instead of glasses…maybe they ran out of glasses or something…so I was saying, the first mug of LIT did the trick…I couldn’t care less about the couples around me…what I didn’t realize then was that I hadn’t even cared about how many LIT’s I had consumed till then…all I remember now is noise and chatter and laughter…I didn’t understand a word of what anyone was saying…I was also fighting hard to recognise the people around me…I simply couldn’t figure…and then for some weird reason I started laughing and wanted to share the joke with another drunk, Radhika who was sitting to my right…and suddenly the world around me started to spin and thud…I had landed on my buttocks on the hard wooden floor…I remember wondering if I had cracked a bone there or was it the floor…I could hear the laughter very clearly now…I could even hear my own laughter…I can’t recollect what followed after that…the next thing I remember is waking up the next morning with a vague recollection of my fall and still giggling about it…so now bring out those slam books…I have finally found the relevant answer…

Soul mate? What's that?

Who is a soul mate? Or rather what is a soul mate? I don’t understand the concept of soul mate. It literally means ‘someone for whom you have deep affinity.’ Affinity means ‘a deep liking for someone.’ So then one could have a deep affinity for more than one person right? So does that mean one can have more that one soul mate? In that case, what is so mystical about finding one’s soul mate? Why do people race after this thing called soul mate? Or is it just another chase for something that takes us away from the brutality of our reality? Most people marry the person for whom they have a deep affinity and the remaining lot develop that affinity for whatever reason after they marry. But then again a soul mate may not necessarily be someone you’re in love with. It could be a friend or just some person you know. Then why the term soul mate? The concept of soul mate is very vague to me. There is nothing concrete or definite about it. I think it’s just a source of deviating our mundane lives by introducing a search for something we don’t really understand or have misinterpreted. How can one search for something that one does not comprehend? The end result of which only leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. The search or chase for a soul mate in my opinion is insatiable because for us humans it would be difficult to choose the person with whom we would share a deep affinity. It is simply difficult for us to decipher. It is excitingly surprising that one word, soul mate, can start a chain reaction of such profound and complex thoughts. Would anyone have the answer to my queries? It would be nice to have some clarity.