saying goodbye

I want you to fade away to become a distant memory but you don’t. i eat, i sleep, i work and do other things all while making a conscious effort not to think about you, but you’re always there at the back of my mind. I don’t allow you to take centre stage. It’s only in the fleeting moments of my loneliness that I let the memories of you to come forward. Actually I don’t have to let them; they just find a way to seep through. But I feel nothing, unlike before. Then I pick up the phone to dial your number. Almost always I disconnect the call before it rings. But today I let it ring, that familiar song that always brings a smile to my face even now. You picked up but surprisingly I felt nothing when I heard you’re voice, unlike before. I felt nothing when I spoke to you, unlike before. I felt nothing when we hung up, unlike before. I guess this means I’ve gotten over you. I’ve let you go. For some reason I feel this strange sense of peace take over when I say I’ve let you go.
I guess I’ll never be able to stop the memories from surfacing in my mind. A few years into the future, they will blur and maybe then I will remember you only if I see a similar car to yours or if I meet another person with the same name as yours.