feel good shopping????

I don’t know why they call it feel good shopping…what’s so feel good about a diminished bank balance??? The psychology behind shopping is apparently to make you feel good….but after you’re done feeling good looking at all those shopping bags in your hand you realize your wallet is probably empty and your bank balance low…and the it doesn’t feel that good, does it??? then you start fretting about how your going to manage the rest of the month…how your going to pay the bills…auto charges, food charges and booze…how you forget about the booze intake…and by the end of it all your so guilty about all the things you’ve purchased…and every time you see the goods or wear them your reminded of your binge…the strange part, however, is that you don’t remember why you wanted to feel good in the first place….

xoxoxoxoxo

I wish upon a falling star
To let you be as special
As you already are
To never take away your laughter
To never erase your smile
to give you all you desire

I wish once more
As the thunder begins to roar
That this cycle of trust
Our bond of faith
Never breaks

Don’t say goodbye
It’s not the time to go yet
Even though we stand there
Waving farewell
The hope remains that
We will meet again

random love

sitting in a restaurant waiting for my food...lost in thought of u...wishing u were there...thinking of all the good times n smiling to myself to drive away the blues...knowing that wherever we are, together or not, we will always have the love we share...

Love is.

sometimes i wonder how much capability does the human heart have to miss and love somebody so much...how does the heart deal with such complicated matters and yet crave for more...but then isn't love such a simple emotion and yet it has no definition...i haven't come across one person who has been successfully able to define love...not one person on this planet of a billion and more people who has been able to put into words this one emotion we call love...how strange it is!!!!! because we feel it all the time...each person has his/her own definition of love...it's not a generic definition that can be applied to all...so mathematically there are over a billion and more definitions of love...and i've had mine too...different definitions for the different people i have loved or liked...all of the definitions that i picked out from books or the internet...other people's words defining my emotions...and now i come to you...for you i wanna have my own definition...i want to add to the already existing list of a billion...and about right now my mind goes blank...

hmm...love is.......love is...you...
my definition of love is you, just you and only you...

Last impression

She was standing in her kitchen…and while she waited for the water to boil she parted her hair from the centre in exactly half and placed each half on each side of her shoulder…she then held both sides in her hand and placed each half on the opposite shoulder and tugged them a little to keep it tight…she poured the boiling water into the mug, coffee with a little sugar and she kept stirring the coffee in the mug and with that the hair that she had made such an enormous effort to hold into place let itself loose…and the fringes in the front of her hair fell onto her face…but I couldn’t see her face clearly, she was standing sideways stirring the coffee with the fringes of her hair blocking her face…she turned towards the wash basin behind her and dropped the coffee stained spoon into the wash basin…and turned towards me and smiled…the dark kitchen lit up instantly…she looked beautiful…there was sunlight filtering into the kitchen from the windows behind her giving the impression of a halo around her head…her silky hair glistened in the sunlight…she looked like an angel in her white t-shirt…she stretched out her hand and I took it into mine…’I love you’, she said…I looked back at her, her eyes filled with tears…I couldn’t say anything back…that is my last impression of her…

She slept that night with her head onto my arm…peacefully…but I couldn’t sleep…if you really knew her, you’d know that she believed in signs…but this time she didn’t see it coming…and now when I look back I think I did…my last impression of her was that of an angel, probably what has become by now…not in her kitchen though but in some place that the priest spoke about at her funeral service…that’s how I want to remember her or maybe that’s how she wanted me to remember her…